Will all of you who can swear on a stack of religious texts or something else you value that your relationship with others—including your animals and clients or any trainer or behavioral consultant of any persuasion with whom you work—is really all positive all of the time, please raise your hand? Naturally I can’t see any of you, but I think it’s safe to say that there are darn few hands going up out in the cybersphere.
The reality is that the all-positive terminology reflects a state of perfection that, while a laudable goal, may damage more than enhance some relationships in long run. I’ve yet to meet a person who wouldn’t much prefer to always be one step ahead of their animals to distract them before they had a chance to misbehave. And I have yet to meet a person who seems to delight in saying “No” to other people just for the sake of doing it except some toddlers (or their older equivalents).
So why are we so reluctant to say No when we mean it?
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