Emily Dickinson is my favorite poet and my favorite poem by her is 1212:
A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.
Even though we humans like to use our written and spoken language as evidence of our superior brain-power, like all animal displays words that have one meaning in one context may have a completely different meaning in another. This podcast considers one word commonly used in behavior whose new meaning may, literally, come back to bite us.
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When dealing with the general public I find that people often struggle to see their pets as whole and complete creatures in their natural form. They too often prefer to view them as human children with hair. As such, although I completely understand the meaning of your podcast, I usually define leadership as that of teacher/student or mentor/student. It helps people see the leadership role as one designed to teach and guide, rather than to “dominate,” and without entering the sometimes perilous waters of “my dog is my child.”
I do understand that you’re pointing out the need to adopt the CANINE parental role, but I think it’s difficult sometimes for the general public at large to think of themselves as parent to a dog, as opposed to dog as child; to seperate from their own need for a “baby.”
This is no slam to the general public by the way. Only an observation about how difficult can be to help people understand what a healthy human/canine relationship would look like.
BTW, you might find it humerous to note that in spite of this, I refer to myself as a “Dog Mom.”
Thanks for your comments, Kim. The problem with all terminology is that people will invariably define words in terms of their own experience unless another definition is offered. Ironically, even though people may project a fantasy human parental relationship on their animals skewed more in what those folks consider a positive direction, how people view the teacher/student model will depend on their own educational experiences. As such some may see this as a more authoritarian relationship skewed in the punishment direction.
No right or wrong answer here. The key is to assume nothing and always define what we mean when we use certain words. That way we don’t wind up thinking we’re talking about the same thing when we’re not.
Myrna
Maybe dogs don’t need a leader as much as they just need someone they can follow. 😉
Good point. The problem is that many people are more interested in a dog who obeys than in one who follows. Going back to your original comment about the teacher/student relationship, that works if people think of teachers the way (to paraphrase) Lao Tzu did:
Good teachers are best when students barely know they exist.
Not so good when students worship and revere them.
Worst when students despise them.
Of a good teachers when their job is done and their goal fulfilled,
The student will say, “I did this myself.”
A primary difference between the parental and teacher model is that the goal of good animal (and human) parents is self-reinforcement and self-control, whereas that of a fair number of teachers is other-control in which the student does things for the grade.